Reconstruction Man:

When I had faith in Christ, and the whole Christian ideas, mindset, bible, God & so on, my life was largely shaped by those ideas. I would ask God for direction, although none really came, it was always me directing myself, but at the time, I didn't know or believed that. I tried to think the right thoughts, impure thoughts were bad, looking at porn was bad, desiring sex was bad. The things that a typical teen & young adult want, perhaps need to do are "bad", because this is how the meme (and the belief of God is a meme) takes hold of our brain, and keeps hold of it. The meme only exists as long as we believe the meme is real, it stops once you no longer believe in it.

Yet this writing is not about my deconversion per say, but my reconstruction after it took hold. For a year or so, I was an angry atheist. I was bitter, depressed, and low. Nothing mattered. I simply existed, barely from day to day. Yet, I was still learning, still reading. I realized, I had to say something about this nonsense. I had to go back to making videos again. I loved to do it, I wanted to. This was my thing, as Deconverted Man. This music video (click this) shows this transformation well I think.

Learning informal logic, helped me to place myself properly. Having a label "skeptic" helped me focus. Looking at arguments and analyzing them gave me purpose. So, yes when or if you deconvert, it might be hard, it might be easy, for me it was rough on the emotions, but I am glad to be a skeptic now, because, for the first time in my life, I can honestly LEARN anything - ANYTHING and never worry that it will hurt my beliefs, because I hold none to be hurt, or any that I do, I have become willing to challenge, willing to question, eager to learn something new, something amazing. Wow, I didn't know that was how that worked! Cool! I no longer have to worry about "bad" thoughts, I am not slowed down by looking to the sky for answers, they come from me, and when I do not know, I can ask others.

Rebuilding is something I did on my own, but I hope that I can somehow help if you need it and are reconstructing after deconversion, if you want said help, let me know via twitter @deconvertedman or via email.

Best to you, and yours, always.